jeyKAD

A system of government borne out of the Nigerian democracy. It is one that hopes to deliver the desired 'CHANGE' through the appointment of dead people into government. The underlying Theory of this system is 'The Dead Social Rule Effect' theory as propounded and actioned by his excellency President Muhammadu Buhari GCFRN in the year 2017. It postulates that the said appointees may have died but may not be dead. Though having dead people in active service is not a new practice in the Nigerian context, PMB is the first living president to appoint dead people who are to preside over issues affecting the lives of the living. Like other systems, this has featured lots of heated criticisms and serious opposition (only on social media) but the system of Corpseocracy seem to be well received (in real life)  as Nigerians are going about their 'lawful' duties as a peace loving people. It is hoped that in no distant time a Dead People Coalition may rise and poli

I'm pained and consoled at the same time. I'm pained that those who supposedly pride themselves with the "I am educated/civilized" title do so not for it's truism but to simply win an argument. We want to make the opponent look stupid_ 'as e con be say na only you civilize, who I be wey go argue with you?'. No! I'm sure if you listen to yourself in the heat of the moment you'd hear yourself say, 'I don't care if you learn because I'm not here to teach you. Yes! I'm here to impose my idea on yours, I'm here to suffocate you and make sure your opinion doesn't count. (Why?)  'Because I'm civilized and you're not.' That's how lowly our 'know all(s)' have sank. We now argue to win. No compromise. God forbid! 'a whole me, loose to that empty vessel?' how now? We've got no space to accommodate, empathize and then teach or learn. Our minds are made up even before the debate is nigh. &quo

They tell me,  'don't judge because you too are marred with flaws/imperfection.' I agree I'm not perfect. So,  should I close my eyes to what's right and refuse to talk when things go bad? Because I'm not perfect? I've not taken to arms_ at least not yet. My voice I lend. My concern is shown. Yet I'm not perfect just because I'm deemed not better than those I seem to criticize? I tell you I don't need your idea of perfection. Who needs it? If your perfectionist meal is all I need then I'm fasting. Eat your perfection. I hope you bloom in its vitality. Yes, you! ___Jeremiah Kadiri ACICRM                 19/12/017

I'll not bore you with the numerous denotative meanings of the main variable at the title of this post. No. The term madness is better expressed connotatively and in context. The thing with most of us is that when Islam is mentioned and or a Muslim is involved in an act, it seem almost as if someone reaches for our heads and instantaneously replaces our grey matter with ice creams. We begin to bask in the emptiness of a brainless skull while priding ourselves with the unintelligent  conclusion that these up-to-no-good Muslims are at it again. Our null self acclaimed sagacity is heightened in the shallow depths of blind stupidity and utter ignorance. Fueled by the unwillingness to even listen or read along the lines with an open mind. Vitriolic vilifications take the media from everywhere as we begin to see sense in the reason why Muslims/Islam must be hated_ 'their own too much seff!', 'fanatical fundamentalists' and the funny rhetoric is justified by a '

I remember once when I was in secondary school_ I.C.E Auchi something happened. We (the then SSSII Students) were in the lab because of the  SSCE examination that was going on in the rest classes. A teacher claimed his Nokia flip phone had been stolen. And decided that every student in the classes he has been to will pay about #500 or so (can't really remember how much as this was in 2006/2007 academic year). Then I began to think of the last time he entered the lab. The phone was in his pocket. Not that I saw the phone but the impression of a phone was visibly shown because of the tight nature of his trousers and for the fact that he was well built. I summoned up courage to protest the fact that the phone was with him the last time he came to the lab and as such we cannot be asked to pay. This single act brought an additional punishment of 3to5 lashes from the back of a bike's brake wire on me and the entire class (as they too supported my guts). As this went on, I retorted,

No electricity, no petrol, no good roads, no conducive environment, no good welfare system, no regard for the masses, no payment of salaries/pension in/on time, no respect for the electorates. Meanwhile, there's massive looting, embezzling, corrupt practices, killing of the economy/recession, heightened inflation, massive retrenchment, unemployment cum other numerous maladies borne out of maladministration and these have pushed a lot of people into crimes like kidnapping, trafficking of humans, assassination, armed robbery and the likes. The aforementioned have contributed in no small measure to practices that bring about depression/mental illnesses, divorce (from inability to cope with bills and other miscellaneous), heightened spread of STIs/STDs (from prostitution_ as our young girls take to the profession to make ends meet), proliferation of illegal drugs as well as the abuse inherent therein. The list is inexhaustible with adverse effects. What's new? Amnesty Inter

You'll definitely be pushed to the wall and made to feel small no matter how big you perceive yourself. Small things will make you look weak when being strong is all that you've ever known. Imperceptible dirt could purge you your light as you watch your heart grow from bad to worse. Little things will anger you. If you fall, you'll be dented and begin to ooze the stench. You're not strong when you retaliate by dishing the same coin. You are not strong for making others feel as bad as they've made you. Revenge doesn't add anything positive. If anything, it makes you petty and brings you to the level of same irritants you hate so much. You don't need to feel the need for retaliation, if you must, then all you need is a cold bath, deep breath and a firm resolve to be successful. Don't be a fool to think that Life's Journey is a rosy ride. Learn to see the thorns, raise you feet, take giant strides and walk past. ____Jeremiah Kadiri C

For some time now we've been making a fuss about the slave trade saga in Libya. Crying foul over how fellow Africans are maltreating brothers/sisters alike. The funny thing is that slave trade never really ended and it started right in our various homes. A quintessence is the case of Edo state. Here it is like a competition to have one or two persons (without any skill) sent away to Libya in a bid for such persons to find their way through to Italy and so on. Especially our young girls. They go without any skills and end up prostituting. We lash out on those who eventually come back home (with nothing)  because of the hardship they face. Refusing to listen to them. Adding to their frustration while they end up depressed in suicidal thoughts and all. My dear, slavery no pass here. This is not peculiar to Edo state. It is in fact a shared sentiment. Now when these persons get to Libya, fellow Nigerians will arrange for them to be abducted just so those at home will send mo

While I was heading home at about 6:42pm yesterday, I found it difficult to get a bike man. The first bike I called gave me an askance look and zoomed off. To me it was normal. Some of these motorcyclists are just mysterious for they seem to prefer burning petrol than actually commuting. I stood, awaiting another motorcyclist to come around. As soon as I waved my hand at the oncoming one I got a cold shoulder. “weytin dey happen na?” I grumbled inwardly until the third bike snubbed me. I made up my mind that I was going to trek home because that seemed to be the only option available at that time if I must go home before the Nigeria versus Algeria Match that broke my heart and justified the reason why am not a football fan came up. I started trekking though I wasn’t feeling good that night health wise. There was this guy behind me who seemed to have resolved to not give up. He’d stop and stop every bike but none responded. I don’t know why but whenever he called on the motorcyclis

Yes! I agree. Men are terrible cheats. They cheat so well and so many times that one begins to lose count. Is it almost always an effortless act to name them so because they are men? Some say they are like bees_ they'd sting a thousand times not because they have to but because they can. Cheating has grown into their anatomy like pride to royalty. You could almost hear silent whispers hush your noisy thoughts down saying, "how dare you chastise him for the act?" I'm almost asking myself, "is there any shame committing this heartbreaking, marriage shattering and life taking evil?" In modern times younger male folks are ranked amongst their peers according to how many females they are getting laid. It is not a trend. It has become the trend. I say so because fine books have been written to curtail and forestall this menace but the saying goes,  'you can only force a horse to a river and the rest is history'. Cheating is the new thirst. You just can&#

And so pictures of an unfaithful wife who was caught cheating in Iyakpi (Ibie axis of Etsako west, Edo state) have become a regular feature on my timeline. Hmm. I'm yet to see the infidel of a man she was caught with. Am not surprised. Women are always at the receiving end here (in Africa)  but I'm here to not in any way justify her actions. Yet I must ask questions. *how many male cheats have been exposed on social media from same Iyakpi or elsewhere in Edo state? (even though them plenty and are walking Scott free from committing the crimes the accuse women of) *(for those proliferating the web with her pictures) can you boast of not being as guilty as the said woman? Now lemme not go on and on with the questions just so I don't bore you. Truth is I'm ashamed of every woman that has posted pics of her with uncanny captions. Just because your day never break abi!? Well I don't know her husband but I can only sympathize with him if he is heartbroken on

I didn't celebrate, Not because I couldn't. What's there to celebrate? I thought infact I shouldn't. All she does is age, While I grin in the dark. 57th party is staged As all her greens grow dark Congratulations, you're still alive and kicking, An entity made one by a forced marriage. Forgive me love, I swear this love is sickening, I'm weak, so weak I might die before your age. Yes, Mummy wipe my tears, Do the do(s) and make this home homey. Show me love, alley my fears, Set in motion positive change, you can do it_ show me! __Jeremiah Kadiri

After having watched this ongoing partnership between NAFDAC and CRS (Catholic Relief Service) I realised how open minded Muslims are. How dedicated they are to a shared vision of bettering Nigeria not minding whose idea it will take to push #Naija forward.  This is what we need. Have Muslims and Christians work together to make things work for the greater good of all.  However, I could not control being human_ a Nigerian for that matter. That bias, that prejudice, that proclivity to fault my neighbor, that inbuilt unwholesome ability to make my tent feel good at the detriment yours. You know!?  That tongue lashing superpower we tend to exude  as soon as we see those in the other camp taking giant strides towards developmental progress meant for the benefit of all.  Recently in my hometown this CRS body provided my people with mosquito nets. As soon as this came through, Muslims sold and bought the trend via the use of public address systems in various Mosques to promote a

It took time and adverse distruction of lives and properties worth billions of dollars as well as the abduction of some innocent school girls before the dreaded boko-haram was declared a terrorist group. Till now the pangs of this unwholesome Northern sect are being felt. Elsewhere ...It took a couple of days and few hours for IPOB to incinerate a Masjid, kill three or so Northerners as well as harass fellow ndi-Igbos before operation Anaconda abi constrictor got them dancing to the drums of pythons. My questions are, what is the difference between the nine-life-cat and mazi yamiri? Why hasn't the Fulani herdsmen been declared terrorists? A host of other critical issues are left hanging and dangling on the threads of my thought process but let's leave it here for now. Jeremiah Kadiri 16/09/017

So despite the ongoing unrest and restiveness that has become a synonym for the south-east, the proliferation of hate speeches that have become a norm on social media, the diversion of relief materials for IDPs and the subsequent protest by victims, the ongoing industrial action by the Academic Staff Union of Universities cum that of Resident doctors as well as the continuous killing of middle beltans by Fulani herdsmen, trinkets of boko-haram in parts of the Nort-east, the continuous deportation of Nigerians from UK and other countries, the attendant issues surrounding the health of our beloved president; the rats saga (gosh! I missed that part coz I wasn't online then), the recession (I hear we are out of it. Hmmm), the degenerating death traps we call federal roads,  the spate of unemployment, 419ning cum other decadence that have caused our nation to rot, someone on my list is sending me a candy Crush request!? Wait first, this is not to say he is not a serious fellow. No. Fa

Found this in my archive and thought it wise to share. There's that guy who; 1. Tries to paint bad situations as being good 2. Tries to make you feel high/on top of the world when you are so down 3. Gives all he has when in fact he has very little or nothing 4. Invests his time in your academics, capacity building and future 5. Corrects your little mistakes without delay 6. Comes and say "am sorry" irrespective of who's wrong or right 7. Opens up like a book by letting you in on what he does 8. Though imperfect, reminds you daily of how much he needs you in his life and begs you to stay 9. Who has a valid plan for the future (wherein you are included) 10. Who runs to you when a storm is coming just to make sure you are safe_ 11. Tells you the truth even when the truth will not favour him That person is not an Angel, he has flaws and is liable to go wrong at any point. See him as a blessing, try to reciprocate and don't be too quick at getting angr

After taking a look at the labcoats and not knowing which inscription was meant for which, I asked, "how will I know which should carry macronac or macromox?" Oga Raphael simply answered saying, "e khey yeh-lhe-lhe ye-eynikpo ney." Now the owner of the lab coats Dr. Ahmed was like "ok" but you should have seen the look on my face as these two guys swept me off my feet while communicating in my mother tongue. They were not speaking any foreign language. They were simply speaking my (our) language yet I was finding myself lost in incommunicado. I couldn't even guess what's being said nor was there any hint with which I could grasp what they mean but at the risk of losing face I asked what he meant by 'yeh lhe-lhe'. That was when the Doctor told me that the tailor said he has made indications on the clothes using numbers to mark the clothes. Oboy! You should have seen how my lower jaw almost fell from my head. 'Orlhi or-khey yeh lhe-lhe ye

These are hard and suffocating times. I don't have good enough words to paint the picture of what lays in my mind but as I sit here scribbling wordings on white sheets, I begin to feel sorry for those of us who have learnt no skills. Yeah, some of us are just there after having invested the remains of our last federal allawee in printing, photocopying and posting of CVs and Application letters, we hope and pray unending for jobs to locate us in order to cater for personal and miscelanuous needs. When these jobs don't come as anticipated, we begin to feel like one whose #14,000,000 ticket was cut by just one match in sports betting. Then our parents' case come in like breezing winds during heavy rainfalls. "When are we going to see that girl's parents?" Mummy may ask. Just when you begin to wonder where in Hell's heat will you get to cater for your needs albeit a wife's, Daddy begin to see you as a loafer. He may not necessarily utter actual words. A

O boy, you never give me my bread o!" One of the almost sounding-like-chorus sentences an ex-corps member gets days and even weeks after P.O.P.  In a good mood one could simply return the favour by saying, "bros I no dey work for bakery Na." But then they begin to emphasize on the 'my bread' thing like they sent you to serve in a bakery far away in the East. Well, it is only normal that one buys bread for 'the homies' Na. Abi how them go take know say you travel or don come from travel ni? But for some reasons you can't afford not to let the warm rush of blood swirl through your grey matter when the bread-collectors storm your private quarters. Others be like, "you don finish so o" and no matter how innocent they sound, your mind begin to sink in the shallow depth of  'what does that mean!?  You begin to think there's more to whats been said. That's just the beginning o. Trust me, your personal person has a sledgehammer question

The classes we took, the inks on books, Was so we’d be good to go and serve. Preparing the pen for that which we read, Was so we’d be good to go and serve. The call was made that we must obey, Both fragile and strong we found our way. Fit and picked to the city of coal, To live in and serve and fulfill our goal. The drills, the whistle. The meals, the bugle. And though no day was simple, We served our fatherland and her people. Some days were rosy, others like thorns. We came, we saw, we served! But then we toiled through rain and sun. We came, we saw, we served.

I rammed into his privacy though he chose to stay in the quiet of our shared corner. It was a place where he chose from which to ponder or reflect on what he may have seen or rather something I may not have been able to fathom as at that moment. Whatever it was, was not of immediate concern to me as the pressure that had formed therein my bladder had almost driven urine down my lower chamber. So I cared less for as long as the elating relief derived from emptying my turgid bladder ensued. Done, I intuitively took a cursory look at the valley behind the corpers’ lodge. Though not unfamiliar with this sight a new inspiration dawned on me. The valley unlike most I’ve seen has no plain land or stream at the bottom. Rather, it is made up of a thick vegetation of mango, palm trees and a mixture of other trees cum shrubs and thickets of tall grasses. It was richly green with sleepy fine grasses at the walls of the steep hills_ the way all the grasses bowed in harmony to the winds was and st

Many a time life gifts or forces us to settle for what we’d rather call very unpleasant situations that elicit pity when we see people who happen to be in such. Situations we at best would only picture in dreams when we fall into trance. Such situations shouldn’t be real. Such situations are not logical and should have little or no affiliation with reality. If ever this unreal fiction plays out before us, we’d rather see it as a lie. I’ve heard, seen and been with people (mostly corps members) who life forced such situations on. They never wore the hard times with ease even if such times were trending like new fashion. The overwhelming nature of these uncontrollable times seemed to take its toll and wear them down with worry__ blinding them with a lie. What lie? The lie that these situations cannot be real, that these should only transpire in a nightmare, that these are not only illogical but also unfair. The lie that they are not meant for such situations_ that the bitter pills of th

Is it the truth within our eyes, Or the lies that set us free? Is it the conscience that cages the heart, Or the haven of wrongs we'd rather be in? Why is the truth sour and hard to heed? Oh!  We just fall for the lies like a slippery hill. We thread behind the crescent and cross To be saved but far more we stray at our own loss. Some begin to feel the urge to play and act godly. From quiet they rise like winds  and become stormy. Though loved, trusted and worshipped, They live in our bad world and leave it worsened. Let me not bore you with familiar wordings, For the truth is obvious like fire and ashes. What does God want__what do we need? It's all in the scriotures_ to love_ read! ___PrinceJeremiah Kadiri

Fighting is heartaching and tiring. It breeds boredom and distance It puts the mind to too much work And scar hearts strong as steel. Yet I dare say and emphatically so, That to live and more so love Without a fight or two Is just as tiring, monotonic and boring. What's life without regrets? What's love without some bruises? How do we learn pain in endless hap? Isn't there wisdom in a wrinkled dimple? Love is pain, Life and to live is precarious. More so is a living without love, For no heartache equals a loveless life. Let the mind's eyes see the flaws, Let it judge and be bias. It is all it can and will always do Yet in the heart's dark and blindness _there's more than a billion reasons to love and live. ___Prince Jeremiah Kadiri