Need I Fight?


It did not occur to me until recently that I was poor
I used to believe I was fine
Until one morning my attention was drawn
To a hole in my coat. That was when I realized
How patiently the coat had endured me for nine and half years
I was worried when I saw how frail my trouser was
I knew it was more decent to have a hole
In my coat than in my trouser
So I smiled reassuringly.
I inspected my shoes, they were clean
But they worried me more than my clothes
Earlier today I made a pair of new soles for them
From a piece of cardboard I stole from my landlady
I know the first wet day they see
Would be the last I see of them.
I closed my eyes to offer a short prayer
And my stomach cringed from emptiness
Momentarily I took stock of the last 72 hours of dry fasting
Then I began to wonder why I was not angry at myself
Why have I been so quiet and unashamedly enduring
I realized my oblivion all these years
Was because I decided all was fine
I angrily bit a finger forcing a trickle of blood
My blood coursed through my vein
Like a stranger in an empty house
Poor me! Nothing had really been fine
My nerves, like naked threads of pain, stretched in hunger
I knew I was a mess and a partial ruin
I saw my future burst in my eyes like soap bubble
Frustration twisting every strand of courage I ever laid claim to
My struggles and hopes working across purposes
Like two arch enemies confined in one small room
Poverty was winning easily almost with no trouble at all
Like a US-Army backed Israeli battalion against the strewn pack of Palestinian civilian soldiers
So why fight when it would only worsen things
I knew I had excelled the usual standard of poverty
Neighbors have stopped looking down on me
They simply don’t see me
Somehow my anger gave way to acceptance and resignation.
I slowly nodded away with sympathetic understanding
At my thoughts of a man with a tranquil smile on his face
Donned in what he considers his best attire
And hanging down the ceiling in a brand new cheap rope!

_Barr. Daud Momodu
           30/10/2011

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